Join PaSH and an anonymous contributor in a multipart series exploring marriage, its challenges and its beauty. This installment, “5 Common Mistakes I’ve Learned Make Me Less Attractive to My Husband” shows a bit more vulnerability. The first installment of this mini-series was, “5 Reasons I Stayed Married Even After Exploring Divorce”. The second installment, “Selfish Reasons I Decided To Stay Married After Exploring Divorce”, we explored an often controversial aspect of marriage, the “one sided” benefits that out weigh the disadvantages of marriage. In the third, “5 Common Mistakes I’ve Learned Make Me Less Attractive to My Husband” we explore the husbands perspective.
As a woman in her late thirties, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs in my marriage. Through these experiences, I’ve come to realize that certain behaviors of mine unintentionally make me less attractive to my husband. Here are five common mistakes I’ve identified.
Fear of Money, Rejecting Gifts:
Picture this: your husband comes home with a thoughtful gift, a smile stretching from ear to ear, only for you to nervously decline because you’re worried about the cost. Sound familiar? I’ve been there, and let me tell you, it’s not the best move. While being mindful of finances is essential, rejecting gestures of love and generosity can leave your partner feeling deflated. Instead, accept the gift graciously and appreciate the sentiment behind it. Remember, it’s not always about the price tag but the thought that counts.
In the beginning of our relationship, I thought I was proving to be a good partner by rejecting gifts. No, I don’t need flowers or no, don’t waste your money! I didn’t realize this was a mistake and I have learned it made me less attractive to my soon to be husband. Gifting was his love language. Rejecting his gifts, didn’t prove to him my responsibility but, made him feel unloved and appreciated.
Stubborn Independence, Not Asking for Help:
Ah, the classic “I can do it all by myself” mentality. Guilty as charged! There’s nothing wrong with being independent, but refusing to ask for help when you need it can create unnecessary distance in your marriage. Trust me; your husband wants to feel needed and valued. So whether it’s fixing a leaky faucet or carrying in groceries, don’t hesitate to lean on your partner from time to time. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to the strength of your partnership.
I remember feeling less than a capable person for needing help, but as our lives filled, I leaned on my partner more and more. He noticed my need for help, and I was embarrassed. Instead of leaning in for help, I pushed him away and tried to do it all myself. Little did I know, this made him less attracted to me and caused him to push me away. This is one of the top reasons, I put this mistake at the top of” 5 Common Mistakes I’ve Learned Make Me Less Attractive to My Husband”.
Lack of Trust, Doubting His Intentions:
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, yet it’s surprisingly easy to let doubt creep in. Whether it’s questioning his motives or second-guessing his decisions, mistrust can chip away at the bond you’ve built together. Instead of letting your insecurities take the reins, communicate openly and address any concerns you may have. Trust isn’t built overnight, but with patience and understanding, it can flourish, strengthening your connection in the process.
I have learned that my partner takes pride in knowing that I trust him, it never occurred to me that signs of mistrust could result in distance and distance could lead to him feeling unattracted to me. For example, if he was committed to handling an errand or a chore and I second guessed if he could or would actually complete the task. This action would cause friction and pain within the relationship.
Neglecting Quality Time, Putting Everything Else First:
Between work, household chores, and endless to-do lists, finding time for each other can feel like an uphill battle. But here’s the thing: prioritizing your marriage is non-negotiable. I’ve learned the hard way that neglecting quality time with my husband leaves him feeling unimportant and disconnected. So whether it’s scheduling regular date nights or simply carving out moments for meaningful conversations, make sure to nurture your relationship amidst life’s chaos.
Our relationship thrived when we would take little moments to nurture each other. A quick lunch date, a message before bed, or a coffee date before weekend chores. All these things fuled his love and attraction to me. Neglecting our one-on-one time unintentionally made him less attracted to me.
Taking Him for Granted, Forgetting to Express Gratitude:
It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to acknowledge the little things your partner does for you. From emptying the dishwasher to offering a comforting embrace, these gestures often go unnoticed but are essential to maintaining a happy marriage. Make a conscious effort to express gratitude regularly, whether through a heartfelt thank-you or a loving gesture of your own. Showing appreciation not only strengthens your bond but also reminds your husband of the unique value he brings to your life.
Marriage is a journey filled with twists, turns, and occasional detours. While it’s natural to stumble along the way, recognizing and addressing our shortcomings can help us navigate the road ahead with grace and humor. So here’s to embracing our imperfections, learning from our mistakes, and growing stronger together as partners. After all, love is not about being perfect but about being perfectly imperfect together. We hope you enjoyed reading, “5 Common Mistakes I’ve Learned Make Me Less Attractive to My Husband”.
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