Five Unexpected Elements That Come From A Divorce

No one ever says, “I dream of the day I get divorced!” Life is full of unexpected surprises and unanticipated turns we never see coming. Instead of focusing on all the negative aspects of divorce, let’s explore five positive elements of divorce. Let’s dive in:

Rediscover Who You Are

Photo by Giulia Bertelli

Being in a bad marriage can cause a person to lose sight of who they are. After divorce, some people are plagued by anxiety, depressed, and isolated. That is no way to live! Remember, life ain’t a dress rehearsal, you only have one shot at this! Surround yourself with people who lift you up and applaud all your strengths! Taking up a hobby or exploring a passion can aid in meeting new people in upbeat environments.

Free Time

Photo by bruce mars

Who are you kidding? If you are a mom, you don’t have one moment to yourself. Have you ever stopped to look into the mirror and suddenly notice the gray hair? Or the fact that you are still wearing the same baggy clothes you slept in? When the children are away, this is the best time to play! Joint custody and regular visitation is the perfect time for some much earned relaxation. Carving out these “you” moments is crucial for your overall well-being!

Financial Independence

Photo by Alexander Mils

Unfortunately, not all women are involved with the household finances during their marriage. Like that new hobby, you can now learn more about finances and have fun doing it. Becoming financially independent can be as simple as taking a business courses online or hiring a financial planner.

Dating And Finding Love, Again

Photo by Helena Lopes

Nothing is worse than being in a lonely marriage where you are ignored and there is no affection or intimacy. We all crave the need to be desired and wanted. Starting to date can be fun. Remember the butterflies you used to get when you were meeting someone for the first time? Not into bars? Online dating allows discretion and in the privacy of your own home.

Calm and Happy Home

Photo by Dan Gold

Prior to a divorce becoming official, couples often spend a lot of time arguing. Unfortunately, disagreements are usually in front of the children. Don’t view separate households and divorce as breaking up a family. Instead, look at it as giving them a tranquil, relaxed, and serene place they feel secure in. Turn re-decorating or re-organizing into a fun project. Allowing the children to make decisions can feel empowering. 

About Ilyssa Panitz

Ilyssa Panitz is a Divorce Journalist/Columnist. She writes a daily column on “Authority Magazine” on Medium called, “5 Things You Need to Know How to Survive and Thrive During & After A Divorce.” Ilyssa also serves as the Content/Editorial Director for The National Association of Divorce Professionals and is the Co-Host of “All Things Divorce” on Clubhouse every Wednesday & Sunday evenings.

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2 Comments on “Five Unexpected Elements That Come From A Divorce”

  1. Reassuring to know that there are some positive aspects to a divorce, especially since we tend to dwell on the negatives. Good information to help maintain optimism through a difficult process!

  2. I love this piece Ilyssa! So true and so well written. Divorce has its benefits and you hit so many of them…. gratitude for bringing light to the conversation. I love co-hosting ALL THINGS Divorce with you on Clubhouse!!

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