I’m learning that my anxiety has been my adversary for to long. It drove how I felt about others, about my ability, and about myself!
My anxiety created difficulty in exploring new opportunities, creating new adventures, and meeting new people. I allowed my anxiety to create fear of the unknown, so I never took the opportunity to cease the moment in many situations. I would talk myself out of doing things before I could even consider doing them.
How I Fight: Taoism and Pranayama
I now study Taoism and Pranayama. Both techniques help me become more mindful of my thoughts and breathing. I recognized that changing how I think can change how my body responds. I also recognized how reactions from previous experiences imprints and impacts how we respond in similar situations.
Practicing Taoism and Pranayama have taught me the importance of resistance and how things meant for me will not resist me. By accepting this philosophy, I am less resistant to change.
Learning how to be present in the now and releasing fear and anxiety of the unknown has become a life-changing experience. It took me twenty years to learn this aspect of myself and to move towards a place of healing. I now realize that I had been functioning in auto pilot, unaware of why my body was physically responding to the people, places, and things in my environment.
Life Before I Won
I lived in a state of heightened awareness because I stayed on guard for everything, real and perceived. I missed opportunities to meet amazing people due to mistrust related to living in a heightened state of awareness. Anxiety made me somewhat paranoid of other’s actions and suspicious of their intentions. Anxiety created fear. I felt safe no where but at home. Going to the store became an overwhelming task for me because I had to interact with people. I found myself going to the store early in the morning during times when the store was practically empty. I avoided situations such as making long drives on the interstate to reduce my perceived fears of having a car accident.
My Pain Continued
I even avoided phone conversations with people I knew would trigger my anxiety or if I had a phone conversation, I would often over talk because my anxiety pressured me to say what I needed to say quickly.
Coping With Ground Techniques
I started utilizing the grounding techniques I’ve often taught my clients in managing their anxiety to manage my own anxiety. Grounding techniques helps to ground you in reality and de-sensitizes sympathetic nervous system arousal responses. I also became aware of my triggers. I developed my own relapse prevention plan to manage my triggers, the same way I would encourage my clients to create a relapse prevention plan to manage their triggers in addictions recovery.
True Freedom
I accepted that I too am in recovery, from Anxiety. Anxiety affects 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 2018). Many experience symptoms of anxiety and may be unsure of the name for it. When you become informed, you become aware. When you become aware, you can accept. And when you can accept, you can move towards a place of evolution and healing. Support groups, training, and mental health support assistance may by identified by contacting your local NAMI office at www.NAMI.org. You may also access additional resources at the Anxiety and Depression Association of America at https://adaa.org/).
