Join PaSH and an anonymous contributor in a multipart series exploring marriage, its challenges and its beauty.
Couples take the leap into marriage for a number of different reasons – a journey filled with twists, turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. As I stand here, looking back at the moments when divorce seemed like the easier option, I can’t help but smile at the roller coaster ride we’ve chosen to stay on. Join me as I share five heartfelt reasons why I decided to embrace the chaos, love, and laughter in our marriage. Let us dive into “5 Reasons I Stayed Married Even After Exploring Divorce”.
Couples Will Disagree: Harmonizing Discord
Picture this: a symphony of disagreement, where every note clashes and echoes. In the early days, the dissonance was disheartening. I realized that my partner and I were unique instruments, creating our own melody. Instead of searching for perfect harmony, we learned to appreciate the beauty in our unique compositions. Disagreement became a chance to grow, to understand each other better, and to find our own rhythm in the cacophony of life.
There were times where conflict felt like the end. In reality, conflict was and still is, an opportunity. Conflict offered an unexplored perspective and offered us the beauty of finding a compromise. Keep in mind, compromise is not losing, but an offering.
It Takes Time to Learn Your Partner: Unwrapping the Layers
Remember the honeymoon phase, when love felt like a magical connection? As time went on, the veil lifted, revealing layers I hadn’t anticipated. Learning my partner became an ongoing process of unwrapping surprises – some delightful, others perplexing. I discovered the beauty in the layers, realizing that understanding each other is an evolving journey. The quirks and habits became the threads weaving our story, making every revelation a cherished moment.
With understanding, I soon learned that folding the towels into halves verses the thirds I was accustomed too was not a personal attack, but a habit he learned from childhood, just had I.
Being Selfish Plays a Role on Both Parties: Navigating the Dance
Admitting to selfish tendencies is a humbling experience. It’s like dancing the tango of self-interest, each partner taking the lead at times. Recognizing our shared inclination towards selfishness allowed us to navigate the dance with empathy. The dance floor wasn’t always smooth, but acknowledging our mutual desire for personal fulfillment helped us choreograph a routine where both of us could take the spotlight without stepping on each other’s toes.
It does not take much to let the other partner lead. Taking turns exploring your partner’s interests, foods and hobbies leaves room for love and removes the space to be selfish. Learning to give and take is what helped save our marriage.
Love is an Emotion, but Love as an Action Can Save a Marriage
Love – the emotional roller coaster with highs, lows, and unexpected twists. Yet, I discovered that love transcends feelings; it’s an action, a continuous effort. Amidst the routine, I found solace in the small acts – a cup of coffee, a small gesture, or a comforting touch. Love as an action became the medicine for our sick marriage. Reviving our marriage from sickness to health.
Love as an action- it reinforced so many positive aspects of our love with little to no words. Picking up my favorite food so I wouldn’t have to cook after a long shift, ordering his shaving cream because I noticed it was low. Or offering to pick up my share of the household chores due to high pressures from my job. And me acknowledging effort through physical cues such as smiles and hugs. All these examples help us heal our relationship and strengthen our bond. It reinforced that we are a team and not individuals competing against one another.
Marriages Have Highs and Lows: Riding the Roller Coaster Together
Marriage, the roller coaster ride with peaks of joy and valleys of challenges. Through kids, job losses, financial uncertainties, and health concerns, we learned that the true thrill comes not just from the highs but from navigating the lows hand in hand. Taking time to date, love, and pamper each other became our survival guide, turning the roller coaster into a journey of growth, resilience, and shared laughter.
Through our many years of marriage, the highlights have been the opportunity to come together and resolve conflict. The uncomfortable part was learning to come together instead of pulling apart. Silly emotions such as pride, shame and fear are the most common denominators for our conflict. The most impact factor was the unwillingness of sacrifice for the sake of the other.
A Token of Advice
As I reflect on the decision to stay, I realize that love is a choice, a commitment to weathering the storms together. Marriage is a relationship that is bound to have ups and downs. Our roller coaster marriage, with all its imperfections, has become a beautiful story of choosing to balance the equation instead of crumbling the paper and tossing it into the trash. So, here’s to the ongoing adventure – may the ride continue, filled with laughter, understanding, and the joy of navigating life’s roller coaster hand in hand.
We hope you enjoyed reading, “5 Reasons I Stayed Married Even After Exploring Divorce”. If you want to read more in this series be sure to comment below and check back each week for more!
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